Kids Love the Shakespearean Insulter

Instead of retorting to schoolyard taunts with hurt silence or an ineffective "Oh, yeah?!", I (grown-up that I am) instructed my kids to find their favorite come-back at the Shakespearean Insulter:

For example, hissing something along the lines of

Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?

sounds so much better than "I'm TELLING!".

And a little more seriously, it's actually a novel way of introducing the Bard to youngsters, putting him (and the intricacies of language) in their corner.

Let's say some kid, who is know to lie, falsely accuses your child of lying. A withering look, and a line from Hamlet:

Assume a virtue if you have it not.

and it's all she wrote.

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